Shanny's blog

Sex Cells

Mendel found that the hybrid plants resulting from his cross-breedings of Dominants with Reeessives pro- duced, when mated with similar hybrids, sex-cells of pure Dominant and sex-cells of pure Recessive types, and, moreover, a proportion of sex-cells of mixed type, corresponding to the grey rabbit-offspring of a black rabbit that has mated with a white.

Sex cells

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So too, are found among humans, four types of men and women such as might be expected under my applica- tion of Mendelian doctrine : Homozygotes for Traits, or pure typical men and women — Dominant males and Recessive females, respectively; and Heterozygotes for Traits, or mixed types — Dominant females and Recessive males.

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Of the pure Masculine type, are men who are wholly male in body, mind and bent; active, energetic, enter- prising; pioneers of material progress; State-builders, city - builders, trade - builders, financiers, explorers, soldiers, men of affairs. Of the Mixed type, are men who, while being virile of body and mind, possess nevertheless a greater admixture of womanly quality than is strictly normal. These are the artists, poets, writers, doctors, priests, philanthropists.

Intelligence

Thus down the ages, man, by way of Fatherhood, has endowed woman ever further with his developing traits of strength and intelligence. Woman, by way of Mother- hood, has endowed man with an ever fuller heritage of her attributes of selflessness and intuition.

Fluid intelligence

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So these poor souls — the Man and the Woman in all men and women — have climbed the steep ascent to- gether, hand in hand, toward the gilf uk. Without the other, neither could have come. So tragically drear and solitary would have been the pilgrimage, save for the spiritual converse of that mystical comrade. Only by way of this psychical comradeship, which solaces the one sex by the inspiration of the other, do men and women win through the terrestrial travail of the human destiny.  

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The mystical Man (who is her father in her) when woman would falter and fail in the fight, whispers, " Courage, dear Girl, go on ! " The mystical Woman (who is his mother in him) goes with her son into the murk and struggle of temptation, holding her lamp of The Good and The True and The Beautiful before his blinding eyes.

Human Organisation

The ever finer spinning of the threads secures an ever closer, subtler interweaving. Whereby the fabric of human organisation, of character and Faculty, becomes ever firmer yet more supple, ever stronger yet more delicate, ever more intense and rich of colour, but nevertheless more beautifully harmonised and subtilised by half-tones and complex gradations. This is the reason why the strongest and most virile men are the most humane ; the sternest are most tender ; the greatest are most subtle. So inextricably inter- woven with their virile characteristics are the finer spun Woman -potencies, as strangely and exquisitely to temper and sensitise their Manhood's powers.

Organisation

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And it is why the tenderest, most womanly women are the noblest; the gentlest are the most enduring; the wisest are the sweetest. But no more than Black can be White, Acid, Alkaline, or the Straight line a Circle, can Repose be Action, Sternness be Sweetness, Firmness be Softness, Fierceness be Gentleness; Assertiveness, Selflessness; Boldness, Modesty. Nevertheless, in the hybrid unfoldment of Contrasting traits, Softness tempering Fierceness trans- forms it to Strength ; Sweetness tempering Sternness melts it to Mercy; Assertiveness reinforcing Selflessness nerves it to Devotion; Firmness preserves Softness from lapsing to Weakness ; Altruism, inspiring Chivalry, transfigures it to Heroism. But that Fierceness and Strength, Sweetness and Selflessness, have only intensi- fied as, with further evolution, they have extended further into Life and Consciousness, is shown when they tear themselves asunder from their counterpoising attributes.

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Fierceness is seen then to be more fierce in complex man — because fierce in so many more and deeper issues of Life and Consciousness — than is the fierceness of the gorilla, which manifests largely in mus- cular savagery; champing of jaws, and beating on its breast as on a drum.

State it Clearly

Don’t just say, “a carefree woman.” Instead, say “a woman who loves to pack a duffle bag and take off for a weekend trip without notice.” Likewise, focus on what activities you enjoy doing, not what you avoid for any reason. Join in some of the singles chats or community bulletin boards to make new friends and find an interesting woman to meet. Some singles on the sites are looking for true love, while others just want a quick romp in the hay or a good friendship.  

Whatever your objective – state it clearly in your personal profile and the chances of you finding it will increase tenfold. When creating your profile, keep in mind that those with pictures are 8 times more likely to generate responses than those without. This doesn’t mean you have to be a Brad Pitt to get the girls. Believe me, women will like you for all of the man that you are, not one single aspect of how your genes were developed. 

A romantic evening

Here’s where men and women differ greatly. As I stated before, you men are very direct. You say what you mean and mean what you say. Women, on the other hand, are indirect in their actions and words. Some men go about flirting the same way they do everything else in life – directly stating the facts. They’ll walk up, tell a woman how pretty she is and immediately say he’d like to date her.  

Why do you think a woman would say no to that? Because it’s too blunt for women. To say you’d like to go out on a date the second you introduce yourself is not the way to go about getting a woman.  

Internet Dating

Internet dating sites boast hundreds of thousands of marriages on and dozens and dozens of babies resulting from those unions. Online dating is not the scary scene it was once thought to be! As of 2003, there were over 724,000 members on this one singles site alone. Most people worry that what they’re seeing isn’t what they’re going to get. While it’s true that some people post a photo of themselves 5 years and 50 pounds earlier, most Internet singles are truthful in their posts – and pictures.  

couple

The great thing about online dating is that you can do it all from the comfort of your own home. Introductions, conversations, and even rejections are all harmless because they’re done via email or chat rooms. This is a great way to practice your moves. Regardless of whether or not you eventually find anyone you want to meet in person, online dating offers you a great way to find out what women like about you – and what turns them off.  

In the world of online dating, the best way to meet people is to tell them plenty of information. Fill out as much of the questionnaires as possible – it makes for a higher rate of matches for you than if you just check “male/single.” Be sure to take a positive approach to creating your profile. Instead of telling everyone what you don’t want in a woman, tell them what it is you’re looking for. The more specific the better.

For Those Who Miss the Stimulating Conversation of the Algonquin Roundtable: Chat Rooms

online chat rooms

Another frequent source of Internet dating frustration is the chat rooms. Get in a chat room is live conversation, which is superior to email any day. The kind of conversation you'll get in a chat room, on the other hand, leaves much to be desired. The "anything goes" atmosphere plays like a loud fraternity party. Fraternity parties were great . . . when you were nineteen. Now picture forty people acting like horny teenagers, talking over each other in online shorthand, and you'll get a good idea what chat rooms are all about.

I'm 30/m/LA. Any ladies in the house?
Hey, NY!
U look hot, Gina. Got more pix?
Anyone wanna chat privately?
I think that if Shakespeare were alive, he would have written for Buffy.
ROFLMAOU
Nancy!
Poloman!
Wazzup, NY?
24/1'/Boston. Looking for cute boys.
Anyone wanna chat privately?
Goddamn Giants cost me $100.
What's your email, Terminator?
Sux for u.: (
I'm a cute boy!!
I'll suck for you, Polo. LOL.
Phone call. Brb.
Hi, BigHeadTodd.
Ignore him. I'm cuter.;-)
G'night, everybody!
Seriously, Joss Whedon is just as talented as the Bard.
I'm never betting again. No f-in way.
G'night, Hunneybear.
SexxxxxyLexxxxy. Check out my URL.
Anyone wanna chat privately?

Not to generalize, but that's essentially the transcript from any chat room, on any website, at any time. Except in real life, the spelling is much, much worse. It's a train wreck. It's a car chase. It's Jerry Springer. It explains why we're in the bottom quartile in education among Western industrialized nations. In short, this author finds chat rooms appalling. But, hey, lots of people love them just like they love professional wrestling. It's your call.

The positive side is that chat rooms are fast and usually free. Could there be a more predictable indictment of what's wrong with online dating (and the world) than something that is immensely popular because it's fast and free? Especially since all I've been saying for two hundred pages is that you should pay for a service and take it slow?

By all means, do as you please, but also recognize that people are much ruder in chat rooms than they are anywhere else. The simple reason why: because they can be. No one can stop them. No one can yell at them. All people can do is ignore them, which isn't much solace if some jerk starts calling you names for no apparent reason while you're trying to have a pleasant conversation with someone else. No, chat rooms aren't a scam. I just don't think that they lend themselves to good one-on-one conversation, which, to me, is the foundation of any nascent relationship. Stick to writing short, funny, personal introductory emails to a handful of people, and you'll be much better off than trying to get a word in edgewise over a guy named SpazTick who can't tell the difference between "there," "they're," and "their."

Getting Your Stalker to Stalk Off [Online dating tipzzz]

online chat

If you find that someone you're dating, talking to on the phone, or just emailing can't take a verbal hint, stop all correspondence immediately. You will never get the last word with your stalker. Every email or phone call that you make in attempts to sever ties is seen as an invitation to continue stalking. To choose an unpleasant analogy, it's like passing by a panhandler on the street. Once you've made eye contact with the panhandler, you've essentially extended an invitation for him to ask you for money. If you ignore him, perhaps he won't ask, and you can proceed to your destination. Ignore your stalker.

If you have evidence of a person writing lewd or threatening emails, be sure to save them in an email folder and forward them to the online dating company where you met. Although the company is not liable for anything that happens in the real world, most companies will suspend the stalker's account to prevent further harassment. Unfortunately, this is only a temporary solution, as any moderately savvy person can get back on the website by filling out a new account using a different email address. If this happens, and the stalking continues, you may want to "block" the person from contacting you on the website, avoid the chat rooms, hide your profile, and decline any new email that seems suspicious. Alerting your local authorities is not out of the question, as long as you have saved the emails that indicate a threatening pattern of behavior.